Once again, Bob the plastic plant comes a hop, hop, hoppin' along to answer your questions, and to make Satori a warm, wonderful experience for you and your family.

Dear Deity,
Why can't I be the deity?
Signed,
Pete Kobylarz

Dear Peter Piper,
If you can give advice to questions and get it through the editors of this paper without having some/all of it edited, you're welcome to take my job! But you have to cut your hair. Bwahahaha!

Dear Bob,
Are you friends with Pubert?! If so, what is he like?
Sincerely,
Hello Kitty

Dear Soon-to-be-taco-meat,
Bob is a mere plastic plant, incomparable to the powers of me. However, because I can receive signals from the supernatural, I talk to Pubert all the time, and let me tell you, he doesn't like it when two dozen guys who smell bad all crowd into the elevator for five minutes. The elevator is his only home, so you people who crowd in this way, give him some space. I COMMAND YOU!

Dear Deity,
What is up with Thursday's ham in this morning's eggs?
Disgusted,
Sick of Tawanka guy

Dear Sick,
Well, you see, Tawanka is great! I think Tawanka is gourmet cooking and you should thank the wonderful staff at EWU for bringing all of us this great and magical culinary experience!!!

Dear Deity,
Have you lost your edge?
Concerned,
Edgy wedgy

Dear Wedge,
Of course not! I just... If, the <censored!>. If... the... and.