A few words of wisdom from two campers with a combined ten years of Satori experience.

Long ago in a galaxy far, far away, Bob the plant was about to meet an untimely end in someone’s dumpster. Fortunatley for the camp, and for this article in particular, a group of fairly totalitarian campers happened to wander by. Seized with pity for Bob’s tragic plight, the campers pulled Bob from the dumpster, calling, “Halt! Cease! Desist! We want that fern!!” And so, after a week or two of rehab to recover from his near demise, Bob the plant became a beloved member and the mascot of Satori camp.

However, his troubles were just beginning. Shortly after he had settled into the Satori haven, Bob was kidnapped by Canadians and taken to their secret hideout north of the border. In a daring exploit involving several cans of Easy Cheese, our own Chris Mathieson was able to sneak into the hideout unnoticed and rescue Bob. After a nerve-racking chase down several Canadian highways and a long talk with Customs about the legallity of importing plastic ferns, Chris got Bob safely across the border. Although all his fellow campers were overjoyed to see Bob again, the person made most joyful by his return was Bob’s then-girlfriend, Bobette. Bob and Bobette enjoyed several happy months together, including a great vacation in Fiji, but then Bobette mysteriously disappeared. Rumors of her death circulated throughout the camp, with the only evidence being a leafy green frond found near the dumpster where Bob was discovered.

(Author’s Note: At this point, please observe your own moment of silence.)

Bob received coping lessons from many camp members and now lives quite happily with the spirit of Satori (despite difficulties with transportation).