Satori Harold: Story One

Harold: Thanks for being with us today.
Steven: (mutters unintelligibly)
H: Um, ok. So, what have you been up to?
S: (just stares at the reporter)
H: Riiight. Well, I just watched one of-
S: Don't think I don't know what you're doing.
H: What? What are you talking about?
S: (stares silently)
H: As I was saying, I just watched "Under Siege" and I just have to say that it's one of the finest pieces of film I've seen.
S: I was a Navy SEAL.
H: No you weren't; you just play one in every one of your movies.
S: Shut up punk, or I'll rip of your arms.
H: Yeah, whatever. Let's just keep-
S: I made Keaunu Reeves scream like a girl in "The Matrix."
H: You weren't even in "The Matrix."
S: Yes I was, I played Morpheus.
H: No, you didn't. That was Lawrence Fishbourne
S: Shut up. (backhands the reporter across his face)
H: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! YOU CAN'T SO THAT!
S: Sit down, sissy boy, before I become upset.
H: I'm calling the cops!
S: I AM the cops!
H: What are talking about? You just an actor, you
not even a real-
S: (karate chops the reporter in the neck)
H: Stop that!
S: This interview is over. (jumps through the window
and disappears into the night)