Satori’s Bob the Fern was kidnapped last night.

A ransom note declaring “Bob is Mine!” was discovered late Thursday morning in the second floor lounge. “Better catch me before I hit the border,” the note read before concluding with a drawing of a maple leaf.
Instructor, counselor, and Canadian Christopher S. Mathieson, who has been closely associated with Bob in the past, declined to comment.

Despite the ransom note, another chain of events emerged from interviews with campers.

Campers said that Clay Elliot, Cooper Henderson, Zach Cleary, and Tony Dinaro took Bob into the third floor bathroom, carried the firn around the floor, and later took him to Elliot’s room. The kidnapping took place shortly before 10 p.m. according to several reports.

Campers also said that Bob was hidden under a leopard-print toga. Bob’s present whereabouts, and the purpose of Bob’s kidnappers, remain unknown.

Legends abound about Bob’s origins.

The first legend about everyone’s favorite plastic fern tells of how Bob was saved from certain doom by being rescued from a dumpster.

Shortly thereafter, he was kidnapped and smuggled to Canada. At the time, Mathieson followed the kidnappers north of the border and rescued the plant with several cans of Easy Cheese.

Satori Director Mike Cantlon tells a different story. Cantlon said he was walking through an Eastern Washington University conference center six or seven years after Satori had started when a woman approached him and asked if he wanted a plastic fern she was trying to get rid of.

According to Cantlon, the woman said the campers would know what to do with it, so he took it back to camp and placed it upon the camps stage. Suddenly a camper in the back row shouted “Bob!”

All the others started chanting “Bob! Bob! Bob!” and that was how Bob came to be.