I am simply enraged. You know the saying “Sometimes you’re the dog, sometimes you’re the hydrant”? Well, I’m always a toothbrush, which is pretty much the worst job in the entire world. Not only am I a toothbrush, oh, no, I am Sam Thompson’s chartreuse toothbrush. Now, I like Sam. He treats me nice enough. What I’m upset about is the fact that people make fun of my chartreuse-ness. Give it a rest! I was chatting with Emily Powell’s My Little Pony toothbrush just last night in the hall, and she said that she is constantly laughed at as well. It’s just plain mean, people! Be nice to us toothbrushes because we are planning a revolt, and it could take place at any second. That would be bad, because you would all start to smell. Have a nice day.

Faithfully yours,
Sam’s Chartreuse Toothbrush